Blood Tithes
by Dawn Ryder113
Summary: Who knew being a hero could get you punished? Following Naruto's death post defeat of Madara Uchiha and the subsequent destruction of Konohagakure. Naruto is punished for his interference and is sent to a new world for said crime, now reborn as an imp he'll have too… wait hang on… what the bloody hell is Exp! (Warning may contain gender bending, lemons, language, and lemons)
1. Prologue

**Blood Tithes:** Prologue

 **A/N:** Damn plot bunnies! Leave me alone! T-T

This fanfic was inspired by Akallas von Aerok's **Re:** Gamer and the beginning is heavily influenced as so. I HIGHLY suggest giving their story a read. It's pretty damn long (I'm only about half way through it myself) but thus far it's been a great ride!

Anyway let's get this thing started!

"Talking"

 _'Thinking'_

 **"Higher Being Talking"**

 _ **'Higher Being Thinking'**_

 **"Spell/Technique/Rage"**

 **""Many With One Voice""**

 **Summary:** Who knew being a hero could get you punished? Following Naruto's death post defeat of Madara Uchiha and the subsequent destruction of Konohagakure. Naruto is punished for his interference and is sent to a new world for said crime, now reborn as an imp he'll have too… wait hang on… what the bloody hell is Exp?!

 **(Story Start)**

Life was a funny thing. It could be kind and full of hope and life. But at the same time full of hate, war, and strife.

None knew this better then the Jinjuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze. Born all but universally hated by almost all existence, he managed to scraped out a life as a Shinobi of Konohagakure. The Village Hidden in the Leaves. And he was good at it.

Before even leaving the Ninja academy he was capable of outpacing some of the strongest ninja in the village. Tricking and trapping both Anbu ("Secret" Police) and Jonin (Veteran Shinobi) that by ALL rights should have easily captured him. But were all instead caught in various prank traps almost on a daily basis. Made fools of and Embarrassed, by someone not yet in their even early teens. Ruined by a snot nosed kid.

Whilst this angered most, a select few (The Leader of the Village the Hokage amongst them) saw this seemingly endless string of serial pranks, for what they truly were. Self taught training in skill others refused to teach him.

Evasion Tactics, Stealth, Trapping, and Scavenging. All incredibly useful skills. And so this small group began subtly supplying him with all the tools and equipment leaving them in places that he easily find. Giving him everything a Trap Master in the making needed.

But one day in one small moment of carelessness doomed them all. Because during a supply drop one of them accidentally left behind a copy Runic Seals for Beginners Vol. 1.

This rudimentary knowledge of seals together with his mastery of the pranking arts created an absolute monster. Naruto took what were once small scale pranks into city wide catastrophe. Turning random scraps of garbage into dangerous weapons of war… Paint Bomb instant ramen cups, Man Trap Yarn balls, Springboard manholes, EVEN Drag Queen landmines. The entirety of Konohagakure knew nothing but fear from the newly born Prank GOD…. for about a week until he ran out of supplies.

All of them having vanished from his apartment with only a small contract that he'd get his stuff back if he promised to cut down his number of pranks to a maximum of 6 times a month. After numerous failed attempts at manually gaining more supplies (they'd get stolen too) Naruto grudging signed the contract.

Life continued on in a similar manner for the Jinjuriki. Quietly growing stronger each day even as he maintained a steady placement of dead last all the way until graduation.

The years that followed Naruto's graduation from the Ninja Academy were some of the hardest though that the young Trap Master was forced to face. Everywhere he went missions that should have been simply became needlessly difficult with everything from Rogue Ninja butting in, too a full fledged invasion during his advancement tests, and war… years and years of war.

War that shaped him into one of his world's finest warriors. A literal Army killer. Capable of setting up and triggering traps that could decimate entire platoons in an instant. Creating mountains of the dead and rivers of blood. All just to end the dreams of one madman with a God complex.

And after years of war it had finally come to an end in the broken ash filled wreckage that was once Konohagakure...

This was where it all ended, on a mountain of broken dreams, with a shattered sword shoved through the black heart of the one who'd caused so much pain… not bad for a Deadlast Knucklehead eh?

"Was it worth it Madara? Was it worth it?" Naruto tiredly asked while, ripping the remnants of a tango he'd ganked off of Some nameless faceless goon, out of Madara's cooling chest as he sat back and surveyed the remnants of what once was Konohagakure. He'd failed everyone. There was no one left. All that remained was an city of the dead.

That was what his eyes told him. Sure he'd won in the end. But there was no doubt in his mind that the cost had been too high. A pyrrhic victory if there ever was one.

 **"What are you going to do now Gaki?"** Came the subdued voice of Naruto's constant companion and curse. The Kyuubi no Kitsune.

"The only thing I can Kyu." Naruto mumbled as he walked down the deserted streets towards the remains of Konohagakure General Hospital. "Search through the wreckage, find who's left, and begin again." He replied as he began sifting through the wreckage. Never noticing the land mine underfoot not until it was too late…

 **Boom**

 **(Story Stop)**


	2. Chapter 1: Godslayer pt 1

Blood Tithes: The God Slayer pt 1 A/N: Umm… Wow it's only been a few hours and I already have reviews? Awesome! This fanfic was inspired by Akallas von Aerok's Re: Gamer and the beginning is heavily influenced as so. I HIGHLY suggest giving their story a read. It's pretty damn long (I'm only about half way through it myself) but thus far it's been a great ride! Anyway let's get this thing started!

"Talking"

' _Thinking'_

" **Higher Being Talking"**

' _ **Higher Being Thinking'**_

" **Spell/Technique/Rage"**

"" **Many With One Voice""**

 **Summary:** Who knew being a hero could get you punished? Following Naruto's death post defeat of Madara Uchiha and the subsequent destruction of Konohagakure. Naruto is punished for his interference and is sent to a new world for said crime, now reborn as an imp he'll have too… wait hang on… what the bloody hell is Exp?!

 **(Story Start)**

Never let it be said that Death wasn't a patient being. When one was willing to wait your entire life just to claim one measly soul. You certainly had to be.

That being said everyone has their limits. Limits that degrade at rapidly accelerated rates, when something as tediously benign, as oh say paperwork, is keeping you overtime and preventing you from taking a well deserved break.

Paperwork. Mind you that wouldn't exist in the first place, if it wasn't for some punk ass Ninja who couldn't just die like they were supposed to and instead created a **MASSIVE FUCKING PILE OF SOULS** that needed to be sorted and processed. Which already created a **METRIC SHIT TON** of paperwork. But no the real kicker was that the WAY they died also had to be catalogued. And the inventiveness of said above mentioned Ninja had generated A LOT of paperwork.

So there Death sat doing piles and piles of paperwork. Growing increasingly frustrated as more and more simply appeared. They should have been home already. They **SHOULD** have been in bed or on their couch snuggling a cup of tea while being wrapped in a fluffy robe.

 **SO WHY IN CREATION WHERE THEY STILL AT THIS FUCKING DESK!?**

(Sigh) 'Oh that's right. It was all because of that little fucktard up-... Hang on where'd he go?'

 **(Ding!)**

" **Ohohoho! Cyrbi be a dear and bring Young Mister Namikaze up to me please?"** Death chuckled darkly quickly calling his Secretary. Whoever said revenge was best served cold obviously had never had to contend with the joys of paperwork before.

 **(With Naruto)**

You know I expected to see many things when I died.

Friends and Family waiting for me.

The gates of heaven or the road to hell before me.

Heck I even expected oblivion.

I'd never in my wildest dreams expected a bench lined lobby of all thing.

I wasn't the only one here either. And no none of them were friends or family… actually a lot of them looked like some of the goons I'd just killed. And all the way at the end of the lobby sat a secretary of some description typing away at a terminal. She would have been cute except for the rather minorly major problem of her having **THREE HEADS**. But other than that still cute…. honestly the only one missing was Madara. Which was honestly too bad. I would have loved the opportunity to mock him... eh bastard probably got an express line to hell.

Well seeing no other real option I approached the secretary.

"Name?" One of her heads asked as I approached none bothering to look up. Which was honestly quite insulting considering she had three time the head power of a normal person. Meh I guess all secretaries were the same.

"Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze" I answer succinctly still looking around. "Um… where-"

"Are you mister Namikaze? You are in the Passing Station. Here you will wait while your file work is processed before being sent of to whatever final destination you've awarded yourself." The secretary stated boredly cutting me off. Well I guess she would get that question a lot. "Hold on a second please." She commanded as the phone on her desk started ringing. "Hello? Yes Master right away." Hanging up she turned to Naruto with three quirked eyebrows. "Well either

you did something colossally stupid or something indescribably great. I pray for your sake it's the latter. Follow me please Mister Namikaze."

"Knowing my luck it's probably the first one." I said with a nervous chuckle.

"You have my condolences then." That didn't reassure me at.

"Well since I'm probably being marched to my redeath, care to entertain a dead man walking with the tail of what happened to my predecessors?" I asked casually locking my arms behind my head.

"Not at all!" The secretary said with a chuckle. "We've got quite a way to go anyway. Death's office is on the top floor 100 floors up, and we currently have no elevator due to it being out of order."

"That's fine I have no idea what an elevator is in the first place." I replied with a shrug.

Thus begun one of the most interesting hour of my life. Apparently Madara ended up as a common garden snail and would spend the next 10,000 lives as such.

 **(Story Stop)**


End file.
